It may seem a million miles away, but it gets a little closer everyday. One world is enough for all of us.

One World (not three) is Enough for All of Us:  Ode to Super Bowl XLVIII

           Forget Joe Namath, that Suzy Kolber kissin' wanna be.  When he guaranteed his Stupor Bowl victory he didn't really know who was going to win.  But we do.  And we also know that one world is enough for all of us, which is an added bonus.

            Most people aren't familiar with the idea of synchronicity. It's an acausal connecting principle, if that helps.  You are probably wondering if you accidentally stumbled upon the wrong article.  I thought this was about the Super Bowl, you say.  And it is, so bear with us.  Synchronicity was first coined by Carl Jung as a concept whereby unrelated causal events are related by meaning. That's the Wiki definition of it anyway. We will give you an example, straight from the Matriculator's life and Wikipedia. In 1980 our boy, that being me Oh my Brothers, had recently moved to a little cow town called Fayetteville, Georgia. The next year, as a sixth grader, our boy won an award for the yearbook. Pretty shocking for a Cuban boy in a cow town, especially considering he was the only hispanic person in the entire county.  Our boy was excited when the yearbook came out. He was going to see his name in lights. He felt like Ralphie in A Christmas Story, when he was waiting for the Ovaltine decoder to come in the mail and give him the Ovaltine secret to life. When our boy, Nicky, opened the yearbook he found the page with the Most Intellectual Award...Wicky. Wicky, that's how they spelled it. No schticking. So instead of Cuban boy being congratulated by the masses and getting to smooch with Sharon Nickovich behind the dumpster after school, they laughed and called him Wicky for a good solid week.  And they weren't laughing "with" him if you know what I mean. Be sure to drink your Ovaltine kid! But in the end it all worked out.  It always does. The largest research tool in the world was named after Nicky's Wicky's Most Intellectual Award. The events weren't related causally, but they were related in meaning. That's synchronicity. It only happens to those who understand it, and it happens to Your Humble Narrator all the time.

            Sting and the Police named their final album, Synchronicity, about the concept.  For the musical explanation of it pop in your old Synchronicity 8-track.  One of the great geniuses ever to walk the earth, Charles Dodgson, explained it a different way. His explanation was through characters in a book and it went something like this.

The White Queen: The rule is, jam tomorrow and jam yesterday- but never jam today. 

"It must come sometimes to jam today," Alice objected

"No, it can't," said the Queen. "It's jam every other day: to-day isn't any other day, you know."

"I don't understand you," said Alice. "It's dreadfully confusing!"

"That's the effect of living backwards," the Queen said kindly: "it always makes one a little giddy at first-"

"Living backwards!" Alice repeated in great astonishment. "I never heard of such a thing!"

'-but there's one great advantage in it, that one's memory works both ways.'

'I'm sure MINE only works one way,' Alice remarked. "I can't remember things before they happen.'

"It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards,' the Queen remarked.

           Ours doesn't only work backwards, it works forwards too. That's why we've predicted every Super Bowl Winner so far. For Super Bowl 45 we scribed Man What are You Doin' Here.  We predicted that Ben Roethlisberger's pre-Super Bowl Cuba Libre was a sign that he would have a "boneheaded" turnover and the Steelers would lose the game.  He did and they did.  For Super Bowl 46 we penned Mexicans Don't Make Mercedes. We predicted the Giants would win and we would have the first Mexican touchdown in history. Correctamundo!  Is that the proper Spanish word?  For Super Bowl 47, we predicted in Civil War 2.0 that the underdog Ravens would win because in our pre-draft analysis of little known guard Keleche Osemele (who was starting for the Ravens in the Super Bowl) we described him as the "type of player that championship teams draft."  We were right.  That's how synchronicity works.


            We have had more synchronistic events occur in our life than anyone that has ever walked the earth. No joke. So when we started this article yesterday, we knew something would happen that was so incredible it would be a signal. An acausal event. It would tell us who was going to win the Stupor Bowl. But we didn't know it would happen today, though when you read this it may longer be today. It may be tomorrow, so you will be reading future predictions made in the present, that is now past. See how it all fits together. But earlier today a snow storm hit Fayette County, Georgia. So our hero is rushing to the post-office. He penned the majority of this article the night before but had left out the part about who would win. He was waiting for synchronicity. He was planning on leaving the post-office and going home to finish this article. The nice man behind him in line starts lamenting to our boy about this and that and somehow gets on the subject of his home inspections when he refinanced his home. Stimulating conversation as I'm sure you can imagine. The guy's wife had been filling out some envelopes and she came to join him at the end of the conversation.

"Hello," she says. "What have you two been talking about?"

"The problems we've had with the house and the home inspectors."

She turns to our boy and says, "Oh, do you do construction?"

           Now in all fairness to the sweet lady, our boy has the Pirates of the Carribean mustache/goatee/fu-man chu going at the moment and was dressed in blue jeans.

"No," he smiles.

"What do you do?"

"I'm an attorney."

"Oh," she said, and yeah she had that look on her face. Bog, life is great. 

"Both of our kids were accepted to law school, but they didn't go. My daughter got married and my son went to the NFL."

Ding, ding, ding!  Red alert! Red Alert!

"What's his name?"  She hesitated, and for a second he thought she might have been bullschticking.

"Todd Peterson," she replied.

"The former Seahawks kicker?"

"Yes, how did you know?"

"I'm the Matriculator," he replied. 

The look on her face had aspects of fear and loathing with a hint of admiration and a strange excitement. Okay, our boy didn't really say the part about the Matriculator because his identity is still one of the world's great mysteries, but the rest is word for word.

          It's not even a one in a billion coincidence. The woman at the post office on the day I'm writing the article hatched a player from the Seahawks. The Seahawks win. Forget our typical award winning analysis of how Russell Wilson will win the game with a big run or two, or how Richard Sherman's psyche will effect the Seahawks. It can't happen any other way. You see, we remember things before they happen.  So don't forget that we predicted this before it happened and don't forget to drink your Ovaltine!

THE Matriculator, January 30, 2014