She's got a brother.  We don't get on with one another.  But I quite fancy her mother, and I think that she likes me.  She's Electric

He's Electric

Two days before the draft and BSPN's resident former GM Charley Casserly released his updated Mock Draft with Johnny Manziel going in the second round.  It's time to put old Charley out to pasture but that's going to be a sad day so we don't want to think about it for a least a few more days.  His rationale, and we use the term more loosely than a Kardashian, was that 6 teams in the top 10 need a quarterback.  Okay.  How does he get from there to Manziel, the Heisman Trophy winner who single handedly led his team to victory after victory in the SEC, is a second round draft pick? Well he "doesn't think" the Jaguars will draft him.  That's it.  No explanation.  I suppose Chad Henne is so good and so popular that it out of the question.  He didn't think the Browns would do it because they "might" want a late first round tosser, we suppose like Brandon Weeden the late first round tosser they drafted two years ago.  Now his explanation for why the Raiders wouldn't want Manziel had some real analysis behind it.  "He's too controversial for the Raiders...." No shit?  As sad as it may be, there is a glue factory in Hoboken with Casserly's name engraved in stone. 

Currently number one on the depth chart of NFL teams at the most important position are Case Keenum, Chad Henne, Mike Glennon, Geno Smith, Matt Schaub, Brian Hoyer, Jake Locker, and Matt Cassell.  Other tossers who possibly only have one year left with their current team include Alex Smith, Carson Palmer, Sam Bradford and Ryan Tannehill, none of whom are considered franchise quarterbacks anyway.  The old guard of franchise tossers led by Tom Brady and Peyton Manning might only have a year or two left. One out of every three teams could draft a tosser in the first two rounds.  This is a very deep draft at quarterback, but it still only goes about 8 deep.  You get the picture. Johnny Manziel has some issues in the pocket we agree 100% with some of the scouts.  He bails too quickly and that's a problem in the NFL.  But he makes up for it with intangibles that only a few quarterbacks to ever enter the league have.  He could be the greatest scrambler since Fran Tarkenton.  You remember that Purple Gnome.  The guy who was too small and unconventional for teams to draft 

He's Electric

     Two days before the draft, BSPN's resident former GM, Charley Casserly, released his Mock Draft.  He said that Johnny Manziel, the Heisman Trophy winner who carried his team to victory after victory in the SEC, will be drafted in the second round of the draft on Thursday.  It's time to put Grandpa Charlie out to pasture. There's a glue factory in Hoboken with an open furnace door.  Casserly's "rationale" was legendary.  He started his argument by saying that six of the top ten teams in the draft had dire needs at quarterback. Yeah. He didn't think the Jaguars would draft him.  No explanation, he just didn't think the team with Chad Henne at the helm might want a rock star at tosser.  The Browns, he said, would probably wait to draft a quarterback until their second round pick. And then along came the Raiders.  At this point the Casserly train had already gone off the tracks.  It was sliding down the crevasse.  Casserly then uttered something to the effect of, "He's too controversial for the Raiders."  Too Controversial for the Raiders!  A menacing darkness appeared at the bottom of the crevasse and the train went directly into a black hole without passing "go."

         Jadeveon Clowney is an exciting player, Khalil Mack is probably going to be great and Jake Matthews has great bloodlines, but none of them will be the lead story on Sportscenter for fifteen straight years like Brett Favre.  Johnny Manziel might.  He might not, but he might.  The other guys won't.  We guarantee it.  There are some real issues with Manziel as a tosser.  He bails from the pocket too early and likes to run too much.  He's unconventional. So were two of the top five passers in NFL history, Fran Tarkenton and Brett Favre.   Tarkenton was a third round pick because he was short and scrambled too much. In short, he didn't look like Blaine Gabbert or Jake Locker or Blake Bortles.  When Tarkenton retired he was the NFL's all-time leading passer in nearly every category and he remains the 6th winningest passer in NFL history.  The other unconventional scrambler, Brett Favre, is the all-time winningest tosser in NFL history.  The archaic notion that teams need a big, strong, statue in the pocket still holds water in NFL front offices, but that ship has sailed.  That's why Blaine Gabbert, Christian Ponder, Brandon Weeden and even Brock Osweiler were drafted ahead of Russell Wilson.  That's why the top five young quarterbacks can all run as well as throw.  Did you know that the top two rated rookie quarterbacks in NFL history were drafted in the past two years?  Russell Wilson and Robert Griffin, who can both move around in the pocket, are the two greatest rookie quarterbacks in NFL history.  Colin Kaepernick didn't play as a rookie but in his first season he would have had the third highest rookie passer rating in NFL history.  Cam Newton destroyed the rookie touchdown record for a quarterback.  Luck runs too, but nobody likes to talk about it. 

       Do we have some concerns about Manziel's ability to hold up if he runs too much?  You betcha.  We had those same concerns about Griffin but he, and Manziel, are the new prototype. The old Jabba the Huts sitting around most NFL boardrooms better start swimming or they'll sink like a stone for the times they are a changin'.  Ironically the guy that said it better than anyone was Peyton Manning's college coordinator, David Cutliffe.  You know Peyton, the gal who left the pocket once about 20 years ago.  Cutcliffe said, "Who gives a rat's ass about (Manziel's) mechanics?  I would love to coach this kid."  What he's trying to say is, he's electric.  He's got something that can't be taught.  He's got moxie and an unparalleled will to win. Plus some swagger to boot. Our biggest concern with him is that he goes off the rails because of his fame. Favre was on the verge of becoming a footnote but he straightened things out and became probably the most fascinating player in the past twenty years.  He wasn't the greatest quarterback but we guarantee he was the most watched and talked about, maybe in NFL history.  (Check out, The Purple Helmeted Warrior, aka Roger Gotohell).  So the Browns or Jaguars, who nobody cares to watch, won't take him in the top 5?  And the Raiders with their bad boy image and Matt Schaub at tosser aren't salivating over him?  And how about the team with Case Keenum or Matt Cassell or Geno Smith as their starter?  Let's see what happens on Thursday.  In spite of strong reports to the contrary, we suspect the Browns and their flamboyant owner are dying to get at Manziel.

          There are a few hundred other players in the 2014 draft and we probably need to touch on them a bit.  It is a ridiculously deep draft.  We like 8 tossers.  The wide receiver group could be one of the best ever.  There are a number of corners we like in the mid rounds.  Then there are the million dollar joint smokers from Florida State.  There's the fall of Teddy Bridgewater and the rise of Blake Bortles, or is there?  And who the hell is Cody Latimer?  We are ready to prime you for tomorrow's adult Christmas. 

Guys who we have more highly rated than the pundicators and probably every NFL GM:

Cameron Fleming- OT, Stanford

Donte Moncrief- WR, Ole Miss

Jimmy Garoppolo- QB, E. Illinois

Deone Bucannon- S, Washington St.

Jackson Jeffcoat- DE, Texas

Ryan Shazier- LB, Ohio State

Tajh Boyd- QB, Clemson

Guys who we have rated lower than the pundicators and probably every NFL GM:

Taylor Lewan- OT, Michigan

Anthony Barr- DE, UCLA

Blake Bortles- QB, UCF

Derek Carr- QB, Fresno State

Calvin Pryor- S, Louisville

David Yankey- G, Stanford

Dee Ford- DE, Auburn

Wild and crazy trade dart toss:

The 49ers trade up to grab a wide receiver, maybe Odell Beckham, unless the Lions, Bills or Rams do it first.

The Jags move up from the second round with the Patriots to grab a tosser, maybe Jimmy Garoppolo. 

The Browns trade for the number one pick and grab Johnny Football and the Texans take either Blake Bortles or Khalil Mack.

We just have this feeling...

...that the Seahawks will draft Austin Seferian-Jenkins with the last pick in the first round

...that the Bears will draft Ha Ha Clinton-Dix

First round talents with injury issues:

Dominique Easley- DT, Florida

Cyrus Kouandjio- OT, Alabama

Brandon Thomas- OT, Clemson

Knuckeheads with first round talent:

Timmy Jernigan- DT, Florida State

Demarcus Lawrence- DE, Boise State

Knuckleheads without first round talent:

A.J. McCarron- Tosser, Alabama

The guy nobody knew 60 days ago who will probably be a first round pick:

Cody Latimer- WR, Indiana

Important sidenote:

Guys with short arms aren't elite tackles.  Just ask Sam Baker, Robert Gallery and Riley Reiff.   Jake Matthews and Zack Martin have short arms.

Interesting twist of fate:

When Michael Sam announced he was gay there was concern he wouldn't drafted because he was gay.  After a snail-like Combine the fact that he is gay might be the only reason he gets drafted.


     Tonight we'll nestle all snug in our beds, while visions of Dolphins' draft bums dance in our heads. Jordan and Allen and Ginn and Ryan.  The little engine that could just keeps on tryin'.  We know in the morning we'll see St. Nick, but until then we say Happy Draft Day to all, and to all a good pick.