It's not easy being drunk all of the time.  If it was easy everyone would do it. 


Week 1's Running Back Kingslayer

Todd Gurley- $6,000

Gurley was a massive disappointment in 2016, but if you watched him play you understood why.  Almost every play was a jailbreak with collosal top five bust Greg Robinson waving like a prom queen as large men paraded by.  They have replaced Robinson with perennial Pro-Bowler Adam Whitworth which should result in an overall improvement in all phases of the Rams offense.  They are playing a bad Colts team at home too.

Highgarden

Devonta Freeman- $7,000

We must admit there aren't many backs we are excited about week one but Freeman is a workhorse, and he's going against a Bears defense that isn't very good.  Quick, name the Bears best defensive player.

Middle Earth

Isaiah Crowell- $5,300

This could go south if the Steelers figure out how bad Deshone Kizer really is and loads up the box.  The Browns offensive line is greatly improved and they are playing at home.  We're guessing 25 touches and a short TD plunge for Crowell.

Don't try this at home

Legarrette Blount- $4,500

Probably not the way to start a plug for someone, but the Eagles don't have time to bring in a back who can start in Blount's place. They potentially have a top five offensive line and there should be plenty of TDs to go around versus the Red Sea Pedestrians.